big surprise

It’s a vast right-wing conspiracy.

You won.

That guy up there won the election. His opponent ceded victory when he crossed the victory mark, before all of the votes had been counted. Before all of the polls had even closed.

We certainly have grounds to cry foul. We could whinge about the widespread and documented voter fraud on your behalf by ACORN. We would be within our rights to point out the illegal foreign donations to your campaign. But we won’t. We won’t claim sour grapes. Your campaign, your candidate, defeated ours. In a country full of Democratic victories, the only loser who is whining for a recount is a Democrat: Al Franken just doesn’t know how to lose a fair fight with dignity.

We’re frankly satisfied that a few decades after Brown vs. Board of Education the United States has proved that it can elect a mixed-race Afro-Caucasian man to the presidency. We might wish that he wasn’t a radical revolutionary Marxist whose experience is basically putting up flyers in Chicago, but we’re still happy the precedent has been set. The race hustlers like Jackson and Sharpton are terrified that black people might realize that they have potential to be something besides a victim who needs to be defended, but we don’t really care. Racial equality was always a true ideal for us, not a shameful means to a shakedown.

So congratulations. You have the presidency. When you lost in 2000 and 2004, I didn’t hear any cries for unity. How many Democrats called for the party to get behind president Bush and support him? Likewise, you’re welcome to shove your “let’s all support Barack and work together” up your ass. You won the election, but there won’t be a honeymoon. When you lost in 2000 and 2004, it was all a scam, some shadowy RNC cabal of stonecutters who rigged election machines and disenfranchised people. You couldn’t admit that you’d been beaten fairly. We’re willing to admit just that. You have the presidency and Congress, run with it. I’d be thrilled if I got the cotton-candy farting unicorn Obama promised everyone.

One thing, though. Remember this example. When the grown-ups come back in 2012 to clean up your mess, remember how to admit defeat with dignity.

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November update

Proto-cheese has been waxed and is in the basement on pastry parchment. I have no idea how it will turn out, but I’ll probably try it around January.

Minestrone has been canned, but two of the four pint jars didn’t seal (I couldn’t find the 10 pound canner weight and used the 15 pound instead, might be related). Meh. They’re still good for about a week in the refrigerator. Mostly a proof of concept, so I can have e.g. homemade matzo ball soup or possibly gumbo without having to make enough to eat it for a week. Need more canning jars, the zombiepocalypse is fast approaching.